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Category Archives: Culture
Shia LaBeouf: Hollywood Superstar and Actual Cannibal
Watch as Hollywood Superstar Shia LaBeouf is unmasked as a cannibal. And then decapitated. All set to music. Continue reading
5 Tips For Regaining Your Confidence After Divorce
If you are a rich, famous, connected, and beautiful woman with a strong family supporting you — like Maria Shriver — you might experience divorce differently than the average schlub. For the rest of us, the most important thing is just surviving. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing, Punditry
Tagged BMW, budgeting, Christian Louboutin, divorce, Dr. Phil, Ellen, Ethan Allen, Georgetown University, Huffington Post, loneliness, Maria Shriver, McMansion, sex
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The Secret Fantasies of Adult Males
In life, you are going to make thousands of business transactions. Almost all of them are going to be on other people’s terms. Even the ones you make with the store clerk who reminds you of the kid in seventh grade whom Sister Rose Veronica ordered everyone to treat nicely. Yes, even that store clerk has it over you. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Navel Gazing
Tagged Amy Poehler, beer, Big Lebowski, burritos, commute to work, craigslist, Don Draper, drug busts, Hanoi, Jazmine Hughes, Jeff lebowski, national bohemian, New England Patriots, New Yorker, passat, Reddit, secret fantasies, used cars, vacation, Vollkswagen, Your boss
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11 Reasons Why Richard and Emily are the Real Stars of “Gilmore Girls”
When you are the dad of girls, you do things you had not planned on doing. For instance, when Thing 2 was in middle school, she and I bonded over “Gilmore Girls.” We never finished watching the series, but when … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Punditry, Yutes
Tagged Christopher Hayden, Emily Gilmrore, Gilmore Girls, Lorelei Gilmore, Luke Danes, Richard Gilmore, Rory Gilmore
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10 Reasons to Hate the Ampersand
The ampersand is the Bob Benson of punctuation. It tries too hard by half to please. “Look at me! I’m here,” it screams from the page. I see you, ampersand. Just go away. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Punditry
Tagged ampersand, Bob Benson, conjunctions, Jane Austen, ligatures, Mad Men, nomenclature, nuns, SharePoint
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My Declaration of Independence from the Word “Your”
I might just want a goddamned V-8 instead of the same fucking orange juice you place in front of my cakehole every morning like I’m some kind of eating, pissing, and shitting robot. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing, Punditry, Yutes
Tagged breakfast, Corn Flakes, Depends, freaks and geeks, Jean Weir, Lucky Charms, Netflix, orange juice, parents, tyranny, V-8, your
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Writers Are Terrible People
Writers are terrible people and even worse partners. You cannot depend on writers. Writers live rich and vivid lives inside of their heads and often ignore anything and anyone that interrupts their thoughts. Writers can be romantic and in the … Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Navel Gazing
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What to Do When You Are Awakened in the Middle of the Night by the Sound of a Bat Named Louis C.K. Flying Around Your Dark Bedroom
And then you realize what is creating this sound. It is the sound of a bat circling over your bed, pausing every 10 seconds or so to perch on a bookcase or your nightstand or the light directly over your bed. Not only is it the sound of a bat circling your bed, it is the sound of a bat under a high amount of stress. Continue reading
Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing
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dedalus, jr. 