Category Archives: Culture

Image | Posted on by | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Don Draper is Ranked #12 Among “Mad Men” Characters

I got to thinking about how to rank “Mad Men” characters using a methodology and came up with a spreadsheet filled with lots and lots of numbers. The results totally shocked me. Continue reading

Posted in Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Shia LaBeouf: Hollywood Superstar and Actual Cannibal

Watch as Hollywood Superstar Shia LaBeouf is unmasked as a cannibal. And then decapitated. All set to music. Continue reading

Posted in Culture | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

5 Tips For Regaining Your Confidence After Divorce

If you are a rich, famous, connected, and beautiful woman with a strong family supporting you — like Maria Shriver — you might experience divorce differently than the average schlub. For the rest of us, the most important thing is just surviving. Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing, Punditry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Secret Fantasies of Adult Males

In life, you are going to make thousands of business transactions. Almost all of them are going to be on other people’s terms. Even the ones you make with the store clerk who reminds you of the kid in seventh grade whom Sister Rose Veronica ordered everyone to treat nicely. Yes, even that store clerk has it over you. Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Navel Gazing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

11 Reasons Why Richard and Emily are the Real Stars of “Gilmore Girls”

When you are the dad of girls, you do things you had not planned on doing. For instance, when Thing 2 was in middle school, she and I bonded over “Gilmore Girls.” We never finished watching the series, but when … Continue reading

Quote | Posted on by | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

10 Reasons to Hate the Ampersand

The ampersand is the Bob Benson of punctuation. It tries too hard by half to please. “Look at me! I’m here,” it screams from the page. I see you, ampersand. Just go away. Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Punditry | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Declaration of Independence from the Word “Your”

I might just want a goddamned V-8 instead of the same fucking orange juice you place in front of my cakehole every morning like I’m some kind of eating, pissing, and shitting robot. Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing, Punditry, Yutes | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Writers Are Terrible People

Writers are terrible people and even worse partners. You cannot depend on writers. Writers live rich and vivid lives inside of their heads and often ignore anything and anyone that interrupts their thoughts. Writers can be romantic and in the … Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Navel Gazing | Leave a comment

What to Do When You Are Awakened in the Middle of the Night by the Sound of a Bat Named Louis C.K. Flying Around Your Dark Bedroom

And then you realize what is creating this sound. It is the sound of a bat circling over your bed, pausing every 10 seconds or so to perch on a bookcase or your nightstand or the light directly over your bed. Not only is it the sound of a bat circling your bed, it is the sound of a bat under a high amount of stress. Continue reading

Posted in Culture, Divorced Parents, Navel Gazing | Leave a comment