Living Alone (Part 4)

Zooey Deschanel

The Quirky "It" Girl (who is not single by choice)

I do not think I could live without The New York Times. The Times is so fucking much better than most news outlets because they take journalism seriously. Sure, they are trying to make a buck, but I think they understand that the world needs a place for serious journalism to protect us from politicians and other powerful whores, and they are going to the bank on that expectation.

HOWEVER, The Times is and always has been a reliably inept cultural trend spotter. When I was a Yute and living in Gotham, the joke was that as soon as The Times reported on something a “hip” or “cool,” it was immediately deemed passé. The Times editors have always been so goddamn amazingly tone deaf when it comes to cultural trends. [1]

Take today’s latest POS installment: “One is the Quirkiest Number.”

Still, as TV has taught us, the single-occupant home can be a breeding ground for eccentricities.

Really? Just because you saw it on TV, it’s also true in real life? Continue:

What emerges over time, for those who live alone, is an at-home self that is markedly different — in ways big and small — from the self they present to the world. We all have private selves, of course, but people who live alone spend a good deal more time exploring them.

Really? From experience, I believe this statement goes the same for people who live alone as well as people who live among others. How do those living alone behave when no one is watching?

  • Never closing the bathroom door.
  • Singing Journey songs in the shower.
  • Running in place during TV commercials.
  • Wearing interesting clothing.
  • Going to bed at different hours.

Wow! That is so goddamn quirky I am about to drop a deuce in my pants.

Look, Steven Kurutz, author, you know what a lot of families that live together do? Walk around the house naked (“the naked family” phenomenon). Form family banks (c.f. “Family Band of the Year”). Watch hours and hours of “SpongeBob SquarePants” with their kids. Do you know what else people who live among others do?

  • Never close the bathroom door.
  • Sing Journey songs in the shower.
  • Run in place during TV commercials.
  • Wear interesting clothing.
  • Go to bed at different hours.

The author took an interesting trend – one in four Americans households is occupied by someone living alone – and chose to follow the most fucking idiotic strand of thought.

Here, give this some thought: if you are living alone, your lifestyle choices are limited by economics and time. You carry the fully weight of rent/mortgage, car payment, utilities, and groceries. In addition, you do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, bill paying, etc. In other words, some of us simply have less money and time to be social.

Here’s another thought: it looks like the people interviewed for the story are pretty much living alone by choice. How big a piece of the demographic pie chart do they represent? As opposed to, say, people living alone following divorce/break-up/death of significant other, people who might not qualify as “quirky?”

his article would have the reader believing that we “aloners” are living out some kind of Zooey Deschanel fantasy.



[1] Other than Bill Cunningham, who is a fucking human treasure. If I am reincarnated, I would like to be the last 30 years of Bill Cunningham’s life. I suspect the first 40-50 years were filled with a lot of trauma and internalized shit that left hefty scars, but the guy is a survivor and he emerged into his Golden Years with just a great, great eye on what soigné New Yorkers wear at the intersection of Fifth Avenue and 57th Street.

About Stephen Dedalus, Jr.

I am trying to awaken from the history of my ancestor's nightmare to comment on my Holy Trinity of Interests: art, literature, and music. Oh, and thoughts on dysfunctional families, which is to say families.
This entry was posted in Culture, Navel Gazing, Punditry, Yutes. Bookmark the permalink.

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